Make your own free website on Tripod.com

BLANDX & DX HUMOR MENU Patepluma Radio Main Menu What's New At Patepluma Best of this Site

BLANDX DX Glossary #1

------------------------------

Antennas - incorrect spelling of antennae

Arnold - A line on the earth separating day and night, also known as The Terminator.

Beat Frequency - (No, this one's too easy; use your imagination).

Bob Grove - A bunch of Bob trees.

DC Volts - A good name for a Washington hockey team.

Diode - What most DXers hope to do.

Discone - A shape with a circular base and a pointed top - da ones dat's here.

D-Layer - Person who lays D's.

Droop - Something that long wire antennas do.

DX - 510

DXpedition - A gathering of nuts.

Eddie Current - QSL signer for Samurai Radio.

ELF - A buried antenna in Michigan or a very small person.

F/D - See below and use your imagination again.

Frequency - How often you do it.

Gray Line - A bunch of old New York City tour buses.

Ground - Dirt.

Ground Rod - What Rod's parents do when Rod screws up.

HARE - Hawaiian Area Radio Enthusiasts (and Eddie Rabbet lovers).

Head Phones - Something you find in most modern expensive hotels.

Heterodyne - A dyne that likes the opposite sex.

Home Service - Pizza parlors that deliver.

Icom - Something that Caesar said.

ID - Something that causes stations to fade.

Interference - Tackling a receiver before he touches the ball.

International Service - Pizza parlors with a very liberal delivery route.

Ken Wood - Brother of Radio Sweden's DX editor.

Lightning Arrestor - A very speedy policeman.

MARE - A female horse of course stupid!

Monitoring Times - Usually 6-10 p.m. local time.

Morse Code - What Morris says when he's not warm and has a stuffed-up nose.

Multiple Beam - What Kirk, Spock, and McCoy do all the time.

NASWA - One of the many sounds made when a person sneezes.

N/D - No date; most QSL cards do not include a date with the secretary.

ODXA - A Canadian conglomerate controling 80% of the world's coffee mug production.

Pass Band - What you do when the band isn't playing something you like.

P/D - Partial date; the QSL includes a date, but the secretary's mother comes along.

Popular Communications - Discrete term for overhearing the neighbor's baby monitor during an intimate moment.

Propagation - Something that amoebas do.

QSL card - irrefutable proof that letters were mailed.

Radio Caroline - A station that can only be picked up with a Sony SW-1 while sitting in a John.

Random Coil - Any jumble of wire. Neatly coiled wire usually reverts to this form when an attempt is made to uncoil it.

Recorder Jack - What Jack's brother told him to do when his favorite singer came on.

Spark Gap - What happens when the Russians develop an improved spark.

SPEEDX - Averaging less than two minutes per station logged.

Surge Protector - A condom.

Sweet Spot - We don't talk about that kind of thing in BLANDX. This is a family magazine.

Time Pips - What Gladys Knight does at practice.

Transistor - A man who dressed in women's clothing to avoid the Draft.

Trap Dipole - What lonely northern dipole hunters do in winter.

Triple Conversion - Making a shot more than 22 feet from the basket.

Tropical Band - A bunch of guys in funny shirts beating on old oil drums.

Tubes - What boat anchors are made of.

USSR - There is no such thing.

VOA - Abbreviation for La Voz del Gringo en America.

Wave - Silly thing that crowds at sports stadiums do. (Did the Romans wave?)

Wave Length - Number of times a wave goes around the stadium (1 time = short wave, 2 times = medium wave, 3 times = long wave, etc).

Wireless - What people did when telegrams cost too much; or a bad thing to be at a DXpedition.

World of Radio - A mythical planet beyond Pluto.

Xmtr - A mtr that should only be tuned in by DXers at least 18 years old.

Yaesu - see NASWA.

Zichi Effect - Improved reception of distant stations with a beverage antenna due to the fact that the antenna is closer to the station.

------------------------------

The above article appeared in the 1992 edition of BLANDX, the DX bulletin parody magazine. More information about BLANDX is available from Don Moore.

What were once vices are now good DXing habits. (BLANDX 1990)

------------------------------

This website is maintained by Don Moore,
Association of North American Radio Clubs
DXer of the Year for 1995
.

My Address Is In This Graphic