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The only DX examination that can award top certification as a "Worldwide Class J DXer" (as recognized by the US National Parks Service, the United Nations Commission on Fish Diseases, and the Peruvian Ministry of Education) will once again be given in R-burg on the Monday following this year's SASWACON (i.e. August 15). As usual, SASWA Examinations Chairman Jack Bradbury has arranged for this year's examination to be kept under armed guard in the vault at the Radio Reloj DX Bank of Reynoldsburg. However, here are some questions that were used in previous years to help you prepare.

FOREIGN LANGUAGES: Five thousand peyote-crazed Mexican truck drivers are storming your DX shack. Calm them. You may use Yoruba, Bulgarian, Chippewa, or Ukogbanian.

BIOLOGY: Create life. Estimate the differances in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effects on Radio Tirana's QSL policies.

ENGINEERING: All the doors have been locked and bolted. The disassembled parts of a Kenwood R-5000 receiver have been placed on the desk beside you. You will also find a screwdriver and an instruction manual, printed in Finnish. In 12 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted into the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

CARTOGRAPHY: In 800-1000 words, throughly outline the uses of a cart in the DX shack.

MEDIVAL STUDIES: Write a fifty-five page essay expounding your viewpoint as to what differances there might have been in their invasions of Europe had the Vikings possessed CB radios.

ASTRONOMY: Receive a radio signal originating in another star system. Prove it emanates from intelligent beings. QSL it.

PSYCHOLOGY: Write a detailed 43 page analysis of the probable effects on the psychological development of one of the following people, had they been regular listeners to Radio Pyongyang during their childhood.

  • Joan of Arc - Millard Fillmore - Hammurabi - Strom Thurmond

INTERNATIONAL UNDERSTANDING (Field Experiment, time allotment 72 hours): You have been provided with a 2.5 megabuck expense account. Persuade the leader of any atomic power to threaten Liechenstein with nuclear annhiliation unless they have an SWBC station on the air within 12 hours.


The above article appeared in the 1988 edition of BLANDX, the DX bulletin parody magazine. More information about BLANDX is available from Don Moore.

What were once vices are now good DXing habits. (BLANDX 1990)


This website is maintained by Don Moore,
Association of North American Radio Clubs
DXer of the Year for 1995

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