From The Maximum Leader

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FROM THE MAXIMUM LEADER

By Bill Kyle

Welcome again to BLANDX IN THE NINETIES! The BLANDX editorial junta continues to do all it can to make BLANDX the North American DX bulletin. Starting this month, we are going to personalize the bulletin by including at the head of each column a fine pen-and-ink drawing of the editor performing some typical DX skill. Publisher Clay Hastings arranged to have these secretly done at last winter's SASWAFEST in Blue Anchor, NJ. Clay hasn't told anyone else about this except me, and I haven't seen the drawings yet, so I guess it will be a big surprise for all of us. Thanks, Clay! It's folks like you that make BLANDX what it is!
Several members have written in to ask exactly why we renamed the bulletin The Journal of BLANDX. We had very good reasons. Many editors and members of the editorial junta, like myself, work in professional occupations. Now we can put our BLANDX positions on our resumes and fool our bosses into thinking we're doing something serious in our professions. For example, QSL editor Ray Framus of Snowshoe PA is a professor of music at nearby Yarnell University (good ol' Y.U.). He told the University Vice President that BLANDX stood for "Bringing Life to Ancient and New Danish Xylophones". They now think Ray is the chief authority in the Northeast on Danish Xylophones, and gave him a hefty raise. Way to go, Ray!
Member Mabel Warner of Bushyhead, Oklahoma writes, "Is Manuel Noreiga behind the so-called 'High Adventure' radio stations?" That's a very good question, Mabel. The CIA claims they are run by Ed "Too Tall" Jones, formerly of the Dallas Cowboys, but Ed was quoted in the Washington Post as saying that he doesn't know anything about them. In fact, Ed thought that "shortwave" refered to a small navy girl his father dated during WWII. Oddly, a DXer in England reported that he received a "Free Manuel" bumper sticker with a recent QSL from WLIQ. WLIQ claims that was a misprint for "Free Manual", to advertise their new free manuals on head-bashing. The misprinted bumper stickers were to have been destroyed by being shredded and used as filler in baby food, but one must have slipped by.
Friends of longtime SASWA member and former Awards Chairman Glen Glick will be happy to know that he is now free and safe in the Bahamas. Glen was arrested a year ago for being the ringleader in an operation that sold illegal cellular-equipped scanners to grade school children in five states. The Federal Pen at Due West, SC unwisely made him a trustee, and Glen made the big move in May while helping plant cotton (Hmmm, what a coincidence, Bill Rumbley and Carson Humboldt were on vacation in South Carolina at the same time). Glen is now living in Mosstown, Great Exuma Island in the Bahamas, where he works as a stringer for The Bahamas Daily Whoppie Cushion.
A new member, Eric Reed of Milk River, Alberta, writes that he gets very confused by our country list, which lists all countries alphabetically by the middle name of their head-of-state, effective September 1, 1945. He adds that it's especially confusing for newcomers in the log and QSL columns, and wishes that we would switch to using the modern names of the different countries. Well, Eric, we do that to keep DXing a serious pasttime, and keep semi-literate riffraff such as yourself out of the hobby. But, you do have a point; it is a bit old-fashioned. Maybe we could switch to listing them alphabetically by the middle name of the 1977 head-of-state. Jack Bradbury is the new coordinator for Future Senior DXers of America. If you would like to start a chapter in your local high school, drop Jack a line. Many senior DXers have used FSDXA as a way to get high school kids to write reception reports for them. Just kindly tell the kid it's ok to use your name and address, so that his name doesn't end up in the FBI files, keeping him from going to college or getting a good job later. It's surprising how many believe that line!
One more item of club business. I'm sure many of you remember the SASWACON a few years ago when I solidified my position as head of the BLANDX Ruling Editorial Junta. In a moment of euphoria, I stated "Read my lips, no dues increases." Well, there is a lot of difference between the backroom promises made at SASWACON and real life, and a new dues structure appears on the back cover. The raises were necessitated becaue we have had several major expenses lately, including the purchase of a deluxe sauna for the editiorial staff. To prevent the purchase from being too much of a drain on club resources, I let it be installed in my basement, for which I am giving the club a big break in rent.
As a final note, it is asked that editors of competing DX publications cease refering to our bulletin as "The Urinal". Otherwise, we will be forced to write numerous letters of praise to Radio Tirana under your name and address.

The above article appeared in the 1990 edition of BLANDX, the DX bulletin parody magazine. More information about BLANDX is available from Don Moore.

What were once vices are now good DXing habits. (BLANDX 1990)

This website is maintained by Don Moore,
Association of North American Radio Clubs
DXer of the Year for 1995.
My Address Is In This Graphic

BLANDX & DX HUMOR MENU	Patepluma Radio Main Menu	What's New At Patepluma	Best of this Site
FROM THE MAXIMUM LEADER By Bill Kyle Welcome again to BLANDX IN THE NINETIES! The BLANDX editorial junta continues to do all it can to make BLANDX the North American DX bulletin. Starting this month, we are going to personalize the bulletin by including at the head of each column a fine pen-and-ink drawing of the editor performing some typical DX skill. Publisher Clay Hastings arranged to have these secretly done at last winter's SASWAFEST in Blue Anchor, NJ. Clay hasn't told anyone else about this except me, and I haven't seen the drawings yet, so I guess it will be a big surprise for all of us. Thanks, Clay! It's folks like you that make BLANDX what it is! Several members have written in to ask exactly why we renamed the bulletin The Journal of BLANDX. We had very good reasons. Many editors and members of the editorial junta, like myself, work in professional occupations. Now we can put our BLANDX positions on our resumes and fool our bosses into thinking we're doing something serious in our professions. For example, QSL editor Ray Framus of Snowshoe PA is a professor of music at nearby Yarnell University (good ol' Y.U.). He told the University Vice President that BLANDX stood for "Bringing Life to Ancient and New Danish Xylophones". They now think Ray is the chief authority in the Northeast on Danish Xylophones, and gave him a hefty raise. Way to go, Ray! Member Mabel Warner of Bushyhead, Oklahoma writes, "Is Manuel Noreiga behind the so-called 'High Adventure' radio stations?" That's a very good question, Mabel. The CIA claims they are run by Ed "Too Tall" Jones, formerly of the Dallas Cowboys, but Ed was quoted in the Washington Post as saying that he doesn't know anything about them. In fact, Ed thought that "shortwave" refered to a small navy girl his father dated during WWII. Oddly, a DXer in England reported that he received a "Free Manuel" bumper sticker with a recent QSL from WLIQ. WLIQ claims that was a misprint for "Free Manual", to advertise their new free manuals on head-bashing. The misprinted bumper stickers were to have been destroyed by being shredded and used as filler in baby food, but one must have slipped by. Friends of longtime SASWA member and former Awards Chairman Glen Glick will be happy to know that he is now free and safe in the Bahamas. Glen was arrested a year ago for being the ringleader in an operation that sold illegal cellular-equipped scanners to grade school children in five states. The Federal Pen at Due West, SC unwisely made him a trustee, and Glen made the big move in May while helping plant cotton (Hmmm, what a coincidence, Bill Rumbley and Carson Humboldt were on vacation in South Carolina at the same time). Glen is now living in Mosstown, Great Exuma Island in the Bahamas, where he works as a stringer for The Bahamas Daily Whoppie Cushion. A new member, Eric Reed of Milk River, Alberta, writes that he gets very confused by our country list, which lists all countries alphabetically by the middle name of their head-of-state, effective September 1, 1945. He adds that it's especially confusing for newcomers in the log and QSL columns, and wishes that we would switch to using the modern names of the different countries. Well, Eric, we do that to keep DXing a serious pasttime, and keep semi-literate riffraff such as yourself out of the hobby. But, you do have a point; it is a bit old-fashioned. Maybe we could switch to listing them alphabetically by the middle name of the 1977 head-of-state. Jack Bradbury is the new coordinator for Future Senior DXers of America. If you would like to start a chapter in your local high school, drop Jack a line. Many senior DXers have used FSDXA as a way to get high school kids to write reception reports for them. Just kindly tell the kid it's ok to use your name and address, so that his name doesn't end up in the FBI files, keeping him from going to college or getting a good job later. It's surprising how many believe that line! One more item of club business. I'm sure many of you remember the SASWACON a few years ago when I solidified my position as head of the BLANDX Ruling Editorial Junta. In a moment of euphoria, I stated "Read my lips, no dues increases." Well, there is a lot of difference between the backroom promises made at SASWACON and real life, and a new dues structure appears on the back cover. The raises were necessitated becaue we have had several major expenses lately, including the purchase of a deluxe sauna for the editiorial staff. To prevent the purchase from being too much of a drain on club resources, I let it be installed in my basement, for which I am giving the club a big break in rent. As a final note, it is asked that editors of competing DX publications cease refering to our bulletin as "The Urinal". Otherwise, we will be forced to write numerous letters of praise to Radio Tirana under your name and address. The above article appeared in the 1990 edition of BLANDX, the DX bulletin parody magazine. More information about BLANDX is available from Don Moore. What were once vices are now good DXing habits. (BLANDX 1990) This website is maintained by Don Moore, Association of North American Radio Clubs DXer of the Year for 1995.