BLANDX & DX HUMOR MENU Patepluma Radio Main Menu What's New At Patepluma Best of this Site

From the Maximum Leader

------------------------------

Welcome once again to BLANDX!! Here in Minnesota the weather has been hot and humid, which means it makes sense to stay up DXing all night and sleep during the day. Of course, I say that every season of the year. As my wife often remarks, it's no wonder I can't hold a job. Thank God, I've got BLANDX.

As you flip through this edition of BLANDX, you'll see that there is no DXers' Kindergarten column this month. Editor Jack Bradbury sent a letter a few days ago that he would be unable to submit a column. As usual, he didn't give a reason. The bum's probably in jail again. If he can't keep off the bottle, he should at least try to stay away from natural history museums.

SUPPORT YOUR CLUB

As most members know, although SASWA is an organization of several thousand members, the bulletin is produced by a very small minority of people who have been successfully blackmailed into volunteering their services. We anticipate many long years of slave-like labor from our present stable of editors. However, our editors do need contributions and the BLANDX Editorial Junta would like to see more members contribute to the bulletin - people like you. Obviously only a few of us, like myself, have the capabilities to do vast things for the club in a vast way. But, I'm sure each one of you could do some half-vast things in a half-vast way.

REGIONAL CHAPTERS

Once again, I want to promote the formation of regional chapters of SASWA/BLANDX in North America. If you are at least an intermediate- experienced DXer, it's a great way to become an authority figure to a bunch of beginner DXers. Imagine the feelings of absolute superiority that you'll feel! Many beginners will gladly wash your car if you teach them how to convert local time to UTC. You can talk down to them all you want. Make them grovel for your words of wisdom! Treat them just like Bill Rumbley treats you at SASWAFEST! For a list of members in your area, just send $5 to me at club HQ. To keep your name of any lists I print out, send $10.

WHAT HAPPENED TO AUSTRALIA?

If you have received a copy of the new BLANDX Radio Country List and have found your country count off by one, there's good reason. In a news event surprisingly ignored by the major media, several months ago aliens from outerspace vaporized the continent of Australia. The BLANDX Country List Committee decided to drop Austalia from the rolls in an effort to help Earth forget this unfortunate incident as soon as possible.

SASWAFEST

Plans are already being made for next winter's SASWAFEST. Please send your comments and suggestions to BLANDX HQ, so we can make next year's SASWAFEST the best ever. The SASWAFEST committee wishes to thank those of you who have already taken the trouble to write. Your comments have been very helpful to the SASWAFEST planning committee. For example, I thought the banquet was the highlight of last year's 'Fest, but it's obvious that most BLANDXers have a strong aversion to again serving Congolese charcoal roasted snails at a SASWAFEST banquet. As expected, the "Touch Me" booth with Iam MacsFarmland was the biggest hit of last year's SASWAFEST. We hope to top that next year. We're going to try to talk Jonathan Thinmarks into sitting in one of those contraptions where you throw baseballs at a target and if you hit the bullseye he gets dunked in a tank of water. At three balls for a dollar, we should be able to buy Radio Netherlands when the convention is over!

MEMBERS WRITE

Member Mabel Warner of Bushyhead, OK writes in response to last month's QSL column, in which Clay Hastings wrote about how he finally got a full data QSL from Radio Senegal after threatening to send the manager's name and address to several junk mail companies. Mabel asks, "Shouldn't we do something about sick people like Clay?" That's not sick, Mabel. Sick is QSL editor Ray Framus who had his one-thousandth veri-signer stuffed and mounted.

Bernie Lockhart of Tortilla Flat, Arizona writes that he used to enjoy listening to McDonalds on his scanner, but he has outgrown that. Now he listens to Wendy's. Well, Bernie, we're proud of you and we're sure your mommy and daddy are too! Tracy Remer says she's been listening to soccer games on regional Brazilian stations and is amazed at how fast the announcers talk. It may interest you to know, Tracy, that according to Dan Muir most Brazilian broadcasters have to use special water-cooled microphones. Ben Hinton says he's interested in purchasing a wedge-shaped receiver. Probably your best bet is to buy a standard rectangular one and add several pounds of Silly Putty until you obtain the desired effect.

New member Emir Abdullah of Kuwait City, Kuwait sent us a large check and asks about how he could receive BLANDX printed in goldleaf. Is that with or without a diamond-studded hardback cover, Abdullah?

------------------------------

The above article appeared in the 1991 edition of BLANDX, the DX bulletin parody magazine. More information about BLANDX is available from Don Moore.

What were once vices are now good DXing habits. (BLANDX 1990)

------------------------------

This website is maintained by Don Moore,
Association of North American Radio Clubs
DXer of the Year for 1995
.

My Address Is In This Graphic