BLANDX Listeners' Trashbag (1990)

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BLANDX Listeners' Trashbag (1990)

Editor: Sven Gonzalez

Permission is given BLANDXers to read this column if, and only if, they have first used a mouthwash and taken a shower. Little courtesy will be shown to those who do not have the manners to put on a necktie, too. Contributions to this column are tolerated, but can be annoying to my personal life. Besides, you probably have something better to do now that you've showered and are wearing a necktie, right? If you must contribute, don't be surprised by the threatening letters you'll receive in the mail. It greatly cuts down on the time I spend typing this column if contributors write illegibly, in poor English, or badly smudge the paper. Then I have a good excuse to throw your contribution out. Finally, please don't ask me for advice on tripping to China, covering up the S&L scandal, or what to do if you've just showered and are wearing a necktie.
This month I've added yet another entry to the long list of DX programs I do, World of Religious Broadcasters. I almost gag at the thought of it, but I need the $$$. So, don't be surprised by the on-air donation requests. Now that I'm a religious broadcaster, so to speak, I might even get involved in a sex scandal or two, to be really professional about it.

NON-VIOLENT DX NEWS
CHILE: Radio Eastern Chile has been having difficulty finding a place to put their antennas. Commencement of broadcasting likely delayed several months (BBCMRS)
GERMANY: The staff of Radio Freed Europe, which has been scrambling to find a way to preserve their high-paying jobs, has announced that effective 10/15/90, the station would be known as Radio Conservative Republican Europe. Their new aim is to continue broadcasting until Eastern Europe is in safely conservative Republican hands. (Carson Humboldt)
NETHERLANDS: Jonathan Thinmarks announced on the 7/27 Tedium Network that at his suggestion Radio Netherlands would become the world's first no-smoking radio station, effective immediately. Listeners are now required to leave the room if they want to light up. (Ryan Finelli) Well, that's actually a good idea. I think it's the first time in years that Thinmarks has come up with anything requiring more intelligence than scratching his armpit. I'm sure he's quite pleased with himself at beating my World of Jammers program on this. Well, effective immediately WOJ will be the first radio program to be both smoke- free and require listeners to wear a shirt and shoes. What do you think of that, JT! (sg)
NORWAY: RN has announced that due to severe budget cutbacks, English broadcasts will now be heard only on even-numbered first days of the month. (Jack Mann)
PERU: To further complicate this country's chronology, next year between 8/28-10/15, the government will introduce "Spring Time", halfway between Standard Time and Summer Time, or UTC- 4 1/2 (WLIQ Latin American Report via Dan Muir) But will they go on Fall Time in our Spring? (sg)
SAIPAN: New station, Harold Broadcasting International hrd daily on 11765 from 1130-1300 in EE (Boris Barrios) Actually that's Harolds. There are two of them (sg).
SOUTH KOREA: Radio Korea's new culinary program will be named Seoul Food (via Jack Mann)
SPAIN: Radio Outside of Spain has finally realized that they are really in Spain, and henceforth will be known as as Radio Inside of Spain (BBCMRS).
SWITZERLAND: Following the Red Cross's successful SW service via Switzerland, the YWCA, VFW, and Loyal Order of Moose will commence SW testing via SRI late in 1990 (Baffin Island DX Club #7823). Voice of the Moose? List loggers will surely confuse that with RCI! sg.
THAILAND: R Thailand announced on 6/29 that Thailand would change it's name by year end. "Anything Burma can do, we can do better." (via Jack Bradbury).
UKOGBANI: Margaret Thatcher takes privatization to its logical conclusion with her sale of the BBC World Service to Rupert Murdoch. Among the changes that Murdoch has announced for the Beeb's lineup are: Crime Newsdesk, a half hour program of shocking and bizarre crimes from around the world; Twenty-Four Hours From Now, noted psychics predict tomorrow's headlines; From The Tabloids, a summary of today's features from Britain's sleaziest newspapers; and Royalty Today, a weekly look at Britain's wild and wacky royal family. Some regular programs are getting a sprucing-up. For instance, Science in Action will feature stories on two-headed babies in the Third World and the increasing phenomenon of mating with aliens, and New Ideas will devote one show each month to British-produced sex toys. In October, Assignment will examine Elvis sightings in Asia, and November's program will be devoted to the more unusual sexual customs practiced in East Africa (World of Jammers #693). Desert Island Disks will be renamed Desert Island Girls (Andre Carbonneau)Hmmm... sg
USA: A proposed new religious station, the Voice of Prophecy, has announced that it will issue it's first QSL card in 1996. (via Jack Bradbury)

GRANNY'S CLANNIES
CUBA (NON): La Voz del CID has added yet another program to its chain of broadcasts named after famous Cubans. Radio Desi Arnez will be on 9450 from 2000-0200 with translations of old Lucy shows (Baffin Island DX Club #10923) Was Trini Lopez a Cuban? Why doesn't someone name a station after him? How about Marcel Marceau, too? -sg
NORTH KOREA: I recently spent several hours listening to clandestine "Voice of National Salvation". They have a very unusual format for a religious station. I didn't hear them ask for money once (Bill Rumbley).
ECHO OF THE MASSES: Must have been them on 15667 at 1530-1617*, but I couldn't understand a thing they were saying (Mann). I really don't see how they expect to do well in the ratings with that poor sound quality. A gimick only goes so far - sg.
VOICE OF NEOCOLONIALISM AND ECONOMIC EXPLOITATION: New stn noted in EE/FF/RR & Swahili on 17330//15890 *1400-1855*. (BBCMRS) Looks like the CIA has finally come up with an answer to all these 'Voice of the Revolution' stations! (sg)

ADVERTISEMENT
You've read the great loggings that SASWA members sent from Puerto Rico, South Carolina, and San Francisco after disasters there. You've wished that power-line noise would just go away, and those worthless little AM graveyard pests would shut down. Here's your chance. For a $1000 deposit, DX Disaster Tours will fly you and your radio to the site of the next major disaster to hit the US. Tents, bottled water, and C-rations will be provided. DX by candlelight in a fine hotel untroubled by line noise and pesky images. Don't forget your batteries! Remember what your mom told you: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Turn the next tragedy to your advantage with a little help from DX Disaster Tours. Brochure for a SASE from: DX Disaster Tours, 1400 Quake Lane, Hurricane, WVA.

The above article appeared in the 1990 edition of BLANDX, the DX bulletin parody magazine. More information about BLANDX is available from Don Moore.

What were once vices are now good DXing habits. (BLANDX 1990)

This website is maintained by Don Moore,
Association of North American Radio Clubs
DXer of the Year for 1995.
My Address Is In This Graphic

BLANDX & DX HUMOR MENU	Patepluma Radio Main Menu	What's New At Patepluma	Best of this Site
BLANDX Listeners' Trashbag (1990) Editor: Sven Gonzalez Permission is given BLANDXers to read this column if, and only if, they have first used a mouthwash and taken a shower. Little courtesy will be shown to those who do not have the manners to put on a necktie, too. Contributions to this column are tolerated, but can be annoying to my personal life. Besides, you probably have something better to do now that you've showered and are wearing a necktie, right? If you must contribute, don't be surprised by the threatening letters you'll receive in the mail. It greatly cuts down on the time I spend typing this column if contributors write illegibly, in poor English, or badly smudge the paper. Then I have a good excuse to throw your contribution out. Finally, please don't ask me for advice on tripping to China, covering up the S&L scandal, or what to do if you've just showered and are wearing a necktie. This month I've added yet another entry to the long list of DX programs I do, World of Religious Broadcasters. I almost gag at the thought of it, but I need the $$$. So, don't be surprised by the on-air donation requests. Now that I'm a religious broadcaster, so to speak, I might even get involved in a sex scandal or two, to be really professional about it. NON-VIOLENT DX NEWS CHILE: Radio Eastern Chile has been having difficulty finding a place to put their antennas. Commencement of broadcasting likely delayed several months (BBCMRS) GERMANY: The staff of Radio Freed Europe, which has been scrambling to find a way to preserve their high-paying jobs, has announced that effective 10/15/90, the station would be known as Radio Conservative Republican Europe. Their new aim is to continue broadcasting until Eastern Europe is in safely conservative Republican hands. (Carson Humboldt) NETHERLANDS: Jonathan Thinmarks announced on the 7/27 Tedium Network that at his suggestion Radio Netherlands would become the world's first no-smoking radio station, effective immediately. Listeners are now required to leave the room if they want to light up. (Ryan Finelli) Well, that's actually a good idea. I think it's the first time in years that Thinmarks has come up with anything requiring more intelligence than scratching his armpit. I'm sure he's quite pleased with himself at beating my World of Jammers program on this. Well, effective immediately WOJ will be the first radio program to be both smoke- free and require listeners to wear a shirt and shoes. What do you think of that, JT! (sg) NORWAY: RN has announced that due to severe budget cutbacks, English broadcasts will now be heard only on even-numbered first days of the month. (Jack Mann) PERU: To further complicate this country's chronology, next year between 8/28-10/15, the government will introduce "Spring Time", halfway between Standard Time and Summer Time, or UTC- 4 1/2 (WLIQ Latin American Report via Dan Muir) But will they go on Fall Time in our Spring? (sg) SAIPAN: New station, Harold Broadcasting International hrd daily on 11765 from 1130-1300 in EE (Boris Barrios) Actually that's Harolds. There are two of them (sg). SOUTH KOREA: Radio Korea's new culinary program will be named Seoul Food (via Jack Mann) SPAIN: Radio Outside of Spain has finally realized that they are really in Spain, and henceforth will be known as as Radio Inside of Spain (BBCMRS). SWITZERLAND: Following the Red Cross's successful SW service via Switzerland, the YWCA, VFW, and Loyal Order of Moose will commence SW testing via SRI late in 1990 (Baffin Island DX Club #7823). Voice of the Moose? List loggers will surely confuse that with RCI! sg. THAILAND: R Thailand announced on 6/29 that Thailand would change it's name by year end. "Anything Burma can do, we can do better." (via Jack Bradbury). UKOGBANI: Margaret Thatcher takes privatization to its logical conclusion with her sale of the BBC World Service to Rupert Murdoch. Among the changes that Murdoch has announced for the Beeb's lineup are: Crime Newsdesk, a half hour program of shocking and bizarre crimes from around the world; Twenty-Four Hours From Now, noted psychics predict tomorrow's headlines; From The Tabloids, a summary of today's features from Britain's sleaziest newspapers; and Royalty Today, a weekly look at Britain's wild and wacky royal family. Some regular programs are getting a sprucing-up. For instance, Science in Action will feature stories on two-headed babies in the Third World and the increasing phenomenon of mating with aliens, and New Ideas will devote one show each month to British-produced sex toys. In October, Assignment will examine Elvis sightings in Asia, and November's program will be devoted to the more unusual sexual customs practiced in East Africa (World of Jammers #693). Desert Island Disks will be renamed Desert Island Girls (Andre Carbonneau)Hmmm... sg USA: A proposed new religious station, the Voice of Prophecy, has announced that it will issue it's first QSL card in 1996. (via Jack Bradbury) GRANNY'S CLANNIES CUBA (NON): La Voz del CID has added yet another program to its chain of broadcasts named after famous Cubans. Radio Desi Arnez will be on 9450 from 2000-0200 with translations of old Lucy shows (Baffin Island DX Club #10923) Was Trini Lopez a Cuban? Why doesn't someone name a station after him? How about Marcel Marceau, too? -sg NORTH KOREA: I recently spent several hours listening to clandestine "Voice of National Salvation". They have a very unusual format for a religious station. I didn't hear them ask for money once (Bill Rumbley). ECHO OF THE MASSES: Must have been them on 15667 at 1530-1617, but I couldn't understand a thing they were saying (Mann). I really don't see how they expect to do well in the ratings with that poor sound quality. A gimick only goes so far - sg. VOICE OF NEOCOLONIALISM AND ECONOMIC EXPLOITATION: New stn noted in EE/FF/RR & Swahili on 17330//15890 1400-1855. (BBCMRS) Looks like the CIA has finally come up with an answer to all these 'Voice of the Revolution' stations! (sg) ADVERTISEMENT You've read the great loggings that SASWA members sent from Puerto Rico, South Carolina, and San Francisco after disasters there. You've wished that power-line noise would just go away, and those worthless little AM graveyard pests would shut down. Here's your chance. For a $1000 deposit, DX Disaster Tours will fly you and your radio to the site of the next major disaster to hit the US. Tents, bottled water, and C-rations will be provided. DX by candlelight in a fine hotel untroubled by line noise and pesky images. Don't forget your batteries! Remember what your mom told you: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Turn the next tragedy to your advantage with a little help from DX Disaster Tours. Brochure for a SASE from: DX Disaster Tours, 1400 Quake Lane, Hurricane, WVA. The above article appeared in the 1990 edition of BLANDX, the DX bulletin parody magazine. More information about BLANDX* is available from Don Moore. What were once vices are now good DXing habits. (BLANDX 1990) This website is maintained by Don Moore, Association of North American Radio Clubs DXer of the Year for 1995.