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TULA: A DXer's Lament

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The following song which appeared in the 1988 BLANDX should be sung to the tune of Lola by The Kinks, assuming, of course, that noone else is close enough to hear you. We can't be held responsible for the results if this song is sung in public.


Well, I heard me a signal from-a ol' Moscow.
Where they drink jet fuel and it don't cost lots of moola.
EM-YOO-ELL-AY, moola.

I fired a report off that very same day;
I was hopin' for Georgia, but she said "No way, boy, it's Tula".
TEE-YOO-ELL-AY Tula. T-T-T-T Tula.

Well, I'm not dumb but I can't understand,
Why her name is Elena but she writes like a man. She gave me Tula.
She said "That's the rule-a". T-T-T-T Tula.

Well, my Soviet sites stand at 24,
And I'd sell my sister just to get one more.
Elena burned me, but I gotta try.
It listed as Georgia in the RDI-I-I!

Well, I'm not the world's most eloquent man,
But I'll pour on the sugar and see if I can change that Tula.
T-T-T-T Tula. T-T-T-T Tula.

I dropped her a line.
I prayed for a sign.
I begged for Tbilisi.
I whined "Elena, please!"

And she wrote to me and said "No, siree!"

That's the way she said it's going to stay.
"I always want you for my DX slave. You gotta Tula."
T-T-T-T Tula.

"L'vov could be Kenga, Kiev's Aramavir.
Boy, we're the real masters of the Soviet Sphere, and this is true-la."
T-T-T-T Tula.

"Enclosed is (a) report form, love and kisses.
Continue to listen, E. Rogova (Mrs)." Yes, it's Tula.
T-T-T-T Tula. T-T-T-T Tula.

Well, my mama didn't raise no panty-waist,
So I followed up again without no haste.
Elena dear sent this terse reply:
"Don't push it, boy or you'll get nothin' but Havana,
Simferopol, and Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky till you are blue in the face. Dig?

Well, I'm not blunt, but I told her where
She could stash that 10th Derzhinski Square card from Tula.
T-T-T-T Tula. T-T-T-T Tula.

(chorus)

Tula. T-T-T-T Tula. T-T-T-T Tula.

(Same 2U Tunes, 1988)

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The above article appeared in the 1988 edition of BLANDX, the DX bulletin parody magazine. More information about BLANDX is available from Don Moore.

What were once vices are now good DXing habits. (BLANDX 1990)

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This website is maintained by Don Moore,
Association of North American Radio Clubs
DXer of the Year for 1995
.

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